I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
