I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
