he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
