He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
