I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
