I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
