Kiss
Puke
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
