Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I don't think brook has ever known best
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
