I hate all girls vehemently.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
