matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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