Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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