Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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