My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
