Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
