Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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