theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
