That's intense
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
