its not stalking. its research.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
