How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
