Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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