Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
