I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
