I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Dignity is for republicans.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
