My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
