Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
