you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
