I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
