thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
