well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
