I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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