Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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