PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
even my farts smell like vagina
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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