I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
