Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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