I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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