I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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