if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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