at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
