the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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