hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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