so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
