it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
