Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
