Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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