ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Text me some of your sweat
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
