I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Did we literally take a cab across the street
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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