Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
