Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
