your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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