She's JV to your varsity
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
