Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
